The Will And The Were
by LarkroseLukos
Summary: Kowalski is called to his family's estate for the reading of his grandfather's will. But when the will is found missing and only a riddle left behind, can the penguins solve the mystery and save the day?
1. The Message

Disclaimer: I don't own POM. However, I do own my long list of OC's, see chapter two.

At the official penguin HQ, the penguins did their normal training exercises.

"You call that a backflip, Rico?" barked Skipper.

Private managed to get to a wobbled handstand but soon fell over. Kowalski couldn't get to a handstand, but he could hoola hoop pretty nice.

Just as Private looked like he was going to do a real backflip, a small crow smashed into his face. Private fell over and the bird landed next to Rico.

"Why are you here?" asked Skipper.

"I have a message for Master Zenfiskinheimer."

"Wah?"

"That's me." Kowalski was blushing.

"Kowalski Zenfishinheimer. Rolls right off the tongue." Skipper said sarcastically.

The crow cleared his throat. "Dear Walskins," he began.

"Walskins?" Private said.

"It's a… bit of a nickname." Kowalski said, quite embarrassed.

"Your grandfather Kalbert has died. You will be attending the reading of his will on exactly Monday, June 12 at 6:00 in the A.M. Bring snacks. Love, Your Mother Karen."

"What's a will?" asked Private.

"Hey, I don't get paid extra to answer questions. Tip?"

Kowalski flipped the crow a seed pellet.

The crow nodded and flew off.

"June 12 is tomorrow." remarked Private. "Um, K'walski, can we come?"

"Wait, wait, wait. You're actually going?" Skipper stepped in.

"Of course." Kowalski answered. "There might be something for me in that will. I hope Grandfather leaves me his old batteries!" He skipped off, gleefully mimicking the sound of an electric machine coming to life.


	2. The Riddle Deepens

"Wow. Your family has a big place." Private said.

The four penguins were standing in front of a large mansion. It wasn't too hard to get too; they just had to rig an ice cream truck. It had a large "For Sale Sign" that was beginning to rot.

"No one lives back here anymore." Kowalski said. "This used to be our vacation home. Then well, our old home got burned down… but that's a different story."

When Skipper rammed on the wooden door a pretty female penguin with dark lavender eyes opened.

"Mom!" she yelled. "More family is here! As if we don't have enough." She grumbled under her breath.

The other penguin to come to door was an older penguin, but still under fifty. She had a short floppy Mohawk similar to Rico's.

She hugged Private. "Oh Walskins! I haven't seen you in so long!"

"Uh, Mother. I'm right here." said Kowalski.

"I'm sorry." she hugged Kowalski. "So this is the son you've been talking about?" she pointed at Private.

"Son? No, you must be thinking of Kassidy or someone." Kowalski half mumbled, flippers behind his back. "Um, this is Skipper. Guys, this is my mom, Karen."

"Greeting, Mrs. Zehfishmer!" Skipper shook her flipper.

"It's Zenfiskenheimer." whispered Kowalski.

"Your son is part of my espionage team."

"Uh, Skipper…" Kowalski whispered harshly. "She doesn't know I'm in a zoo or the military. I've told her I live in Antarctica and work as a forensic scientist."

"Oh."

Later…

"Those penguins are my sister's Kassidy, Kayleen, Kaitlyn, Kandy and Kinva. Those penguins are my cousins Kink, Kenian, Kable and Korane. Those our my brothers Kent, Kenny, Kenya, KJ, Koko and Kellkin. That's my grandmother Kaya. That's my father Koast. That's my nephew Krypto. That's my uncle Kokin, my aunt Kalypso, and my baby sister-"

"Let me guess… Kinzy?" said Skipper.

"Kinyeta?"

"Not even close," Kowalski answered. "Her name is Annphidora. Or Ann."

"And that's my second cousin Kerrian, my adopted brother Koopa-"

"Okay, that's enough. When is the will going to be read we can get out of this crazy place?"

"Not till everyone's here."

"There's more? Jeez, how many relatives do you have, Kowalski?" Skipper said, dodging a football thrown by Kent.

"I'm pretty sure you don't want to know." Kowalski answered, and went to talk with his relatives.

At around 7:00, Koast called order to the house.

"Here is a recording of your grandfathers will." he said, and the tape began to play.

A husky voice was on the tape. "I know the all of you are riddle solvers and are generally smart… so I'm gone make you work for that will. You'll follow I series of clues I've hid around the estate. Each clue will lead to a different riddle. Listen closely, I'm only gonna record this once. Your first riddle is: What did the _Felis Catus _use to work on it's lawn?"

For a second everyone was quiet. Then they just started throwing the football and chatting again.

Kaya banged on the table. "Everyone! Listen up! You heard your grandfather! Solve that riddle!"

"Hmmm…." Kowalski muttered. "_Felis Catus. _Where have I heard that?"

"Felis Catus is the Latin word for cat." piped up Kassidy.

"How did you know that?" asked Private.

"I _read_ a book about felines." Kassidy hissed.

"So the stakes are still on, huh?" Kowalski cracked a smile.

Kassidy nodded, smiled deviously and skipped away.

"What was that all about?" asked Skipper.

"If I tell anyone about- well, I can't tell you- she's threatened to tell everyone I can't read. And they think that I co wrote Hairy Paw-ter."

"Jeez, how many times do you lie to this family?"

"I didn't lie! They have me mixed up with KJ. His last name is Rolling, you know."

"Sure. And your mama thinks you live in the Artic and our a forensic scientist."

"Can we change the subject?"

"Sure." Skipper sighed and plopped down on a chair with stuffing coming out of it. Private sat on the armrest.

"Rico, chips." Rico vomited up a bag of chips.

"Woah!" yelled Kaitlyn. "That penguin just vomited up chips!"

"Dude, regurgitate something else!" KJ said.

Rico smiled and threw up a bag of candy into the air. All of the penguin jumped for it, but Karen caught it first. She tossed the bag back to Rico, who swallowed it.

"No candy for my munchkins."

"Darn." Koko said.

"Actually," Karen said. "I have a funny story."

"Oh no…" moaned Kowalski.

"When Walskins was just a little chick, he broke into the chocelate cellar at our neighbors, the Hewzins, party. He ran around like crazy sporting a maroon cape, calling himself the Choclate Crusader. Then he vomited in the pool and passed out."

As his relatives laughed, Kowalski lowered his head into his flippers.

Private patted him on the back. "It's not that bad, K'walski. I once ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast."

"Yeah?" Kowalski looked up.

"That's it." Private shrugged.

"What about the riddle?" asked Kandy.

"Wait…" KJ's brow wrinkled with thought. "I got it!"

"What?" said Kowalski.

"What did the cat use to work on his lawn? A lawn meow-er!"  
"Grandpa kept all his mowers in the shed." Kent said.

All of the penguins looked at each other. Then they raced to the shed.

The shed was overflowing with stuff. Every garden tool you could imagine was in there. And now a bunch of penguins were in there, tearing apart the place and looking for the mower.

"FOUND IT!" Kowalski yelled at the top of his lungs.

All eyes turned his way.

"Well, read it aloud!" Kassidy said with a grin. "It's not like you can't read, right?"

Kowalski looked at Skipper, who shrugged. And he began to read.


	3. Siamese Twins

"A w-woh-min p-puhroo-ves-en cou-" Kowalski struggled to read.

"Oh, give me that!" Koko snatched the paper and read aloud. "A woman proves in court that her husband was murdered by her sister, but the judge decides that the sister cannot be punished. Why?"

"Hmmm…" mused KJ. "That one's stumped me."

"Well, let's see." said Karen. "A women convinces the judge that her sister murdered her husband. The judge tells her that her sister can't be punished."

"Maybe the jail was full."

"Maybe it takes place in the future, where there are no punishments."

"Twins!" laughed Ann.

Everyone was quiet.

"That's it!" Kowalski's brain was working a mile a minute. "They would have to be Siamese Twins! Then the innocent sister would have to go to jail!"

Kenya smiled. "Yes! Of course. Grandpa owned two Siamese cats. They lived in the attic. He'd go up there and feed them. That's until they died. But he kept their food dishes and stuff!"

The penguin ran out of the shed and clamored for the door. Finally Kandy opened the front door and they ran upstairs.

The attic was always creepy to Kowalski. It was shady and dank. His footsteps echoed behind everyone else's in the dark.

Soon they were at the back of the attic. Two food dishes, reading Kybusa and Kaibrasa, were dusty and covered in spider webs. A box lay at the bottom of it.

"Grandpa's will!" shouted Kandy, and she dived for it.

Everyone watched as she opened it up. Then a look of confusion crossed her face.

"It's empty!" she exclaimed.

"What?" said Karen. "Where is the-"

But she didn't get to finish.

"While you guys were solving the Siamese Riddle," said Kassidy, appearing from the other side of the attic. "I snagged the will. You didn't know, but the will has the combination code to Grandpa's safe. In this bag," She motioned towards her knapsack. "Is all of Grandpa's inventions. I'd like to stick around, but I have ride waiting."

The penguins heard the sound of a helicopter outside the open attic window.

Kassidy hopped up on the windowsill. "Oh, and Kowalski," she said. "I've been a little hard on you. Grandpa wanted you too have this. It won't be use to Dr. Blowhole anyway."

She pulled something out of her knapsack and threw it too him. Then she hopped out the window and was gone.

Kowalski picked up the bundle. It was an ABC book. "I'll never use this." he muttered.


	4. Epilogue

A month later, it was night at the zoo. Kowalski, staying up late to work on his tracking device, was tempted to open up the pages of the ABC book. He hadn't touched it for a month.

Finally he gave in and grabbed it. Open up to the title page, a surprise awaited him- a Tootsie Roll taped to the page.

"Kassidy." He smiled, popped the candy in his mouth and began to read.

That's the end! My second fanfic, finished. Chapter Two is personally my favorite. I hope whoever reads this enjoyed the story and please comment!

~Lukos


End file.
